Victim or survivor?

The psychiatric profession will tell you that people who get picked on a lot are perpetual victims! If your constantly defending yourself , arguing with people or feeling rejected by people you would probably be classified this way. My theory is people who become psychiatric either have lived a charm life or plain just blocked out reality . If you point out the Jews and there constants persecutions through out history they would likely say “ that’s not the same!“ What makes one person more a target then the other is still unclear to me but lets continue looking to my pass.
During the years I was I was learning the hard lessons of life and good ones on Glousester street , I would also be fighting the good fight at school. I lived down town Ottawa but my Junior high and high school were on the west side of Ottawa. What I now call the Western Front My home was the Central Front. As I mention before being rejected undeservingly left scares on me . Junior high was going fairly well . I was adjusting to my new friends Jimmy , Mike and Marcel. I found math very difficult but in general I wasn’t doing bad. I had a teacher that I admired . By the kids standard he was one of the kool teachers. I loved his class I was very involve in any discussion until one day he told me the principal wanted to see me. When got the I was made to side in the waiting area for what seemed like and hour then sent back to my class with no explanation. My friend Jimmy later told me that they had a class discussion about me and that the teacher told them I would never amount to anything in life. He instructed them that for there own good they should stop hanging around me. That really hurt me ! Maybe I imagined it but I since they were different with me after that .
When I graduated to Champlain high also on the west side of Ottawa that became my Western Front. I was starting to change not only as I was going through puberty but emotionally I started to resent school. The main bully in my class was Luc Laroque . He was tuff but not so tuff that I was going to let him walk all over me. One day he wanted my seat in class and I refused. He then slap me on the head so I toad up from my desk to challenge him. I was always brave enough to stand up to people but never brave enough to throw a punch. He kick me in the balls but I absorbed the pain and made like it didn’t hurt. Just then the teacher came in so he said “ I’ll get you after school!” All day I stressed trying to think how I would fight this guy . I refuse to run ! Better I get beat up the hide . Well it turns out he never looked for me . The part that stays with me the most is when I stood up to him in class , the class was cheering for him not me . In my eyes I was the good guy so why were they cheering for him? Two other guys name Jacque Babino and his brother Maurice were also school bus bullies I had to deal with . My friend Denis had beaten Maurice in a fight but one day when I was alone on the bus without my friends Jacques tried to bully me to give up my seat . Of course I refuse as always so he told me he’d get me at the bus stop then walked by . Suddenly I felt a hard shove in my back he had dropped kick me in the back when I wasn’t looking. That really hurt but I held it in . He leaned over after and said “ I’m not going to fight you this time , but you better watch yourself!” Between the Central front dealing with my drunken Dad beating my sister and my battles on the Western Front with teacher rejection and standing up to bullies I was becoming angry inside . The more a person feels rejected the more they try to be accepted! I concluded that being a bad person makes you popular so I started stealing from the Confectionery store close by . I would hide food in my coat lining then walk out . One day they called out to me and I ran pass them . Soon everyone it seemed knew I was a thief but it didn’t make people like me . Instead they disliked me more . One day in shop class a cat came into the class and the girls were screaming like crazy. I got up , grabbed the cat and through it high in the air. I though it would land on its feet but it landed on its head. Now I was know as “the cat killer” because the cat died. Not long after that I quit school. I've always stood up for myself and yet I have found myself fighting for survival more then poeple who haven't stood up for themself.As I continue my writing I hope to find answers for this.