The change begins

Some thing happen to me after that car accident !Maybe it was the accident or maybe I was just developing as a man and decided it was time I fight back . I was quicker to anger . Where before I would let people walk all over me for a long time now I was giving immediate response to insults or disrespect. Respect became very important to me and disrespect quickly angered me. On the other hand it was as if my personality split in two because I wasn’t always this new person . For the most part I was my tolerant self but I was changing and fear was no longer the force that control my decision. It was a while after my accident that I quit school . Not long after we moved to Manotic Ontario about 20 miles from Ottawa. It was a small house with a small barn . Across the street the people with homes had there back yard to the Rideau river. For a while I kind of felt like I was back on my childhood farm going for long walks along the railroad with our dog. I would go back to Gloucester street once in while because I was missing my friends Dom . More importantly I was missing Theresa . I would also go back to our old farm place to reminisce of when I was a boy. It was during that time that I met Carole Bard . She was a attractive redhead same age as me . I met her through my friend whom I didn’t know had a crush on her at the time . She however took a likening to me so I would hang out there dating her sort of. After a week or so I still hadn’t kissed her. I had missed my opportunity a few times and was never able to come back . So we never kissed . When I visited her I usually got a ride there with my parents who visited an old friend of there regularly. One day Carole and I were sitting on the front door step and my retarded sister Micheline was on the grass signing and rocking her head as she like to do sometime. A skinny boy came by on his bicycle and shouted out “ hey! Look at the retard!”. No sooner had he spoken the words I was on top of him knocking him off his bicycle . I was punching him in the face as he was trying to cover up. “Paul stop!” I herd coming from Carole. I immediately stop and he ran away crying . His older brother came out of the house and I thought he was going to come after me but instead he brought his brother inside . “I thought his older brother was going to fight me” I said to Carole but he didn’t! “I’m glad he didn’t” she said while crying and holding on to me. I thought she meant that she was worried for me but a few minutes later she told me that she had never seen anyone that angry and she was scared of me. At the time I dismissed it but she broke off with me that day and I just wrote it off as she was being stupid. That was my first act of violence and many more would follow before I realised itwas happening.