Alter egos and fantasies

I couldn't belive I stood up to Billy!Having an alter ego for me started long before I knew what an alter ego was. I recall as a boy while visiting friend Paul Paquette where I first encountered Marvel comic Super Heroes. I was instantly hooked! The very idea of having super powers one day and having a regular identity the next was something I just connected with. Oddly enough it wasn’t Superman who was my first role model . It was actually Birdman. All I remember is he was super strong and he got his power from the sun . Then there was Space Ghost who also got his power from the sun. I remember when my friends and I played fighting game I was just Paul and they would quickly over power me but soon I would stared at the sun and transform into Birdman! They would run and scatter as I now chased them using my super strength . Soon after Superman was my favorite. He had all the powers needed to do the job plus he had the secret identaty . Of course I never understood why poeple couldn't tell it was him under those glasses. Later on I began watching a Japanese show called Ultraman. I was older then but still in the fantasizing stage, since I wasn't dating yet. The story was a teenager who discovered a capsule the size of an aluminium cigar holder and when there was trouble , he would hold it in the air and say “Ultraman” . At this point he would change into this Giant guy in a tight space suit and fight giant monsters like Godzilla.Coincidently Ultraman's power source was the sun as well. I’m not sure what is the significance this But I know once I started liking girls my fantasies changed a bit. Things were simple back then in my childhood days. I was the powerless boy who would transform into a super hero when ever danger was near by.Of course it was all imaginary! Super heroes were the subjects of many of my childhood fantasies. Some fantasieslasted into my teen years. Then one day I remember I was mad at someone . I don’t remember who or why but I remember wishing I had real super powers so I could hurt that person. I remember becoming aware of this terrible thoughts of revenge inside me. Up until then I used to pray for super powers so I could change the world ,but now I came to a conclusion that I was a bad person and I should never have super powers. This thought proved to be true often in my life. As when I realised I had a special gift I would be self serving with it. So here I was now hanging around Pincrest project. My latest encounter with Billy left me feeling very powerful. In the past I had stood up to my enemies but this was different ! I actually attacked a bully and it felts great! From that moment on I became more aggressive in my response when challenged by a bully and they would usually back down quickly. It was as if someone had told everyone that I had beat Billy. I was the cool guy in that project that summer ! Even Mich Naux back down when I stood up to him and he was a well known street fighter. My confidence was brought back to normal one day however. John had found a walky-talky radio I don’t know where and I ended up with it . A voice over the radio was offering a reward for it so I contacted them and we arranged to meet. They payed me $100 for it in the form of a check and I gave them the radio. Everything seemed good until I found out the check bounced. So I went to General Security’s office to get my money . I was confident that once they saw me they would change there mind and pay me. As I was talking to the receptionist who had called them after I got there two large detective looking guys came in and immediately started punching me . I fell to the ground and they began kicking me in the face and the ribs then threw me into a closet. I have to say I was scared ! A few minutes later they pulled me out and sat me on a chair and cuff my hands behind me. They wanted to know where I got the radio . I wasn’t going to tell them that so they threaten to “take me for a car ride and drag my face on the pavement while we were moving”. I still didn’t talk so the tall guy who must have been six feet four inches put a gun to my head and treaten to kill me. They played what I now know as “good cop bad cop” routine but I didn’t talk. Finally the one who seemed to be in charge un cuffed me and led me outside . His last words were “we know where you live and if anything happens to our cars or radio they would find me and kill me”. Oh yes I forgot to mention that when they refused to pay for that bad check I treaten to damage there security cars. I was pretty shaken when I left there and the address they had was my sisters so revenge was not an option . My lesson on that day was bluffing is only good if you can back it up. I went there as Mike Young but my secret identity was blown as well. In the futur I would become better at kepping myself safe .Odly enough as my persoanlity changed ,I was unaware on how far from Paul's personality I was moving away from. In fact I actualy thought I was still the good guy fighting the bad.